Sunday, March 22, 2020 - after dinner rant
The being locked in a house with all my children for 8 days is now wearing on me.
I literally just called down the stairs and shouted,
"Do you have any idea what it's like being locked in a house together for a week and hearing EVERY interaction between the two of you? Sometimes it's fighting, sometimes it's not, but there is LITERALLY NEVER A BREAK FROM IT!!!! For the love of everything that is holy, please be quiet!!!!"
Think it will work???
I went for a walk today with Lida - after sleeping in until 2 pm. Yes, you read that right. My wonderful husband delivered breakfast in bed to me around 10 am. I woke up long enough to eat it, and then replied to him, "I don't wanna". He responded, "What don't you want to do?" and I replied as I waved my hand in a round motion in front of me, "ANY OF IT. TODAY. I don't want to do today". To my great surprise, he responded, "Then don't. Go back to sleep".
So I did.
Might I also mention I was up till 3:30 am because I took a nap. And the same pattern happened yesterday. I'm going to do my best to not nap today. Cuz ya know, I only woke up at 2 pm. So really, WHEN is there TIME for a nap?!
I tried to not worry today. I'm a worrier. That's what I do. And I do it REALLY well. So well in fact, that it made me a STELLAR project manager. Because I ALWAYS saw the risks. And I was good enough at my job that I did a great job at mitigating those risks. The difference between work and home life is I don't have as much emotion attached to work. I am very passionate about what I do - whatever it is. I give with my whole self into whatever I'm doing. But I wouldn't run into a burning building to save my boss. I might motion like I was going to, with the hope someone would hold me back...ya know I've given the reach...
But my family. My kids. I would die for them in a second without even thinking about it.
When I think about it, I'm spoiled. ROTTEN. What do I miss and why am I annoyed?
I miss sushi. I miss eating out. I miss having a break from my kids. I miss quiet afternoons right before they would get home from school. I miss cleaning and it staying clean for at least 4 hours before the kids got home.
But what don't I miss or feel right now?
I don't have to feel worried every day I might bring home a deadly virus that will put my family at risk.
I don't have to feel scared of going to work. I don't have to feel the ungratefulness of strangers as I work my butt off to fight this thing, and they are not practicing social distancing or are even going one step further and having friends over!
So lucky I am in fact that in the middle of typing this, I stopped to shout down to my children and call my youngest autistic kid an asshole.
Yup I'm THAT Mom.
sigh.
For all you fuckers not taking this seriously - SERIOUSLY - FUCK YOU.
I literally just called down the stairs and shouted,
"Do you have any idea what it's like being locked in a house together for a week and hearing EVERY interaction between the two of you? Sometimes it's fighting, sometimes it's not, but there is LITERALLY NEVER A BREAK FROM IT!!!! For the love of everything that is holy, please be quiet!!!!"
Think it will work???
I went for a walk today with Lida - after sleeping in until 2 pm. Yes, you read that right. My wonderful husband delivered breakfast in bed to me around 10 am. I woke up long enough to eat it, and then replied to him, "I don't wanna". He responded, "What don't you want to do?" and I replied as I waved my hand in a round motion in front of me, "ANY OF IT. TODAY. I don't want to do today". To my great surprise, he responded, "Then don't. Go back to sleep".
So I did.
Might I also mention I was up till 3:30 am because I took a nap. And the same pattern happened yesterday. I'm going to do my best to not nap today. Cuz ya know, I only woke up at 2 pm. So really, WHEN is there TIME for a nap?!
I tried to not worry today. I'm a worrier. That's what I do. And I do it REALLY well. So well in fact, that it made me a STELLAR project manager. Because I ALWAYS saw the risks. And I was good enough at my job that I did a great job at mitigating those risks. The difference between work and home life is I don't have as much emotion attached to work. I am very passionate about what I do - whatever it is. I give with my whole self into whatever I'm doing. But I wouldn't run into a burning building to save my boss. I might motion like I was going to, with the hope someone would hold me back...ya know I've given the reach...
But my family. My kids. I would die for them in a second without even thinking about it.
When I think about it, I'm spoiled. ROTTEN. What do I miss and why am I annoyed?
I miss sushi. I miss eating out. I miss having a break from my kids. I miss quiet afternoons right before they would get home from school. I miss cleaning and it staying clean for at least 4 hours before the kids got home.
But what don't I miss or feel right now?
I don't have to feel worried every day I might bring home a deadly virus that will put my family at risk.
I don't have to feel scared of going to work. I don't have to feel the ungratefulness of strangers as I work my butt off to fight this thing, and they are not practicing social distancing or are even going one step further and having friends over!
So lucky I am in fact that in the middle of typing this, I stopped to shout down to my children and call my youngest autistic kid an asshole.
Yup I'm THAT Mom.
sigh.
For all you fuckers not taking this seriously - SERIOUSLY - FUCK YOU.
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